The Best Laid Plans of Mice And Men

I've been thinking about that quote a lot lately.

There is a school of thought that says the Universe keeps sending a person the same types of problems over and over until he or she learns the lesson, or resolves the issue.

My kids start school next week. We have not moved, no one has made an offer on the house. They will be starting at their old school. The summer was unseasonably cool, quite so. I do like a hot summer before I have to get into winter mode where I shiver the whole other nine months of the year! Things are not going as I planned.

There lies my issue, I believe: My LESSON. I don't consider myself a control freak, at least not in the regard that I need to be in charge. I just have trouble with surprises, I am not a spontaneous person. I do not like to find where I am going, I like to KNOW. (God bless http//www.google.com/maps) I don't like to change my route for going to work. I don't like to make plans at the last minute. It is just hard for me. It is not something I dislike about myself, it is something I have accepted, and I try to work with it, plan for things I can to keep myself from feeling nervous. (Because what fun is being nervous?) There are all types of people in the world, and this is me.

But then there are the things I CAN'T control. I can't control when my house sells, or if the houses I like will still be for sale when my house DOES sell. I can't control the timing. I can't control the chilly summer that is making my tomatoes ripen oh-so-late. And this is what I have to learn to deal with. I have to learn to let go, to let the Universe take care of me, to let things play out as they will. After all, I may not know what is best for me--I may look back and realize how things worked out better. It has happened before. So... I am trying.

Sometimes I think about when I was a kid and all adults seemed to know what was going on. They seemed so grown-up. They seemed DONE, like they knew the answers, knew what was best, always what was right.

I wonder if my children look at me like that. It is laughable. I am still trying to figure it all out. I am still finding my faith, still wondering how the world works, wondering what I will be like when I "grow up"... certainly some things I have figured out, but so many I have not. And then things happen sometimes to turn what I have already figured out on its ear. I am guessing it was the same for the adults in my life. Maybe they were still waiting to grow up like I feel I am--but hiding it well!

So, when I see my "for sale" sign, I try to shrug. No blinking light on the machine from the realtor? I think, "maybe tomorrow." But sometimes I feel the sinking feeling, I get frustrated and sad. I remind myself, "it can change in a blink." I try to focus on the things in my life that are oh-so-very-right. Universe, I am trying to learn what you are teaching me to make me better!

I am evolving. And I may never stop.