The Best Laid Plans of Mice And Men

I've been thinking about that quote a lot lately.

There is a school of thought that says the Universe keeps sending a person the same types of problems over and over until he or she learns the lesson, or resolves the issue.

My kids start school next week. We have not moved, no one has made an offer on the house. They will be starting at their old school. The summer was unseasonably cool, quite so. I do like a hot summer before I have to get into winter mode where I shiver the whole other nine months of the year! Things are not going as I planned.

There lies my issue, I believe: My LESSON. I don't consider myself a control freak, at least not in the regard that I need to be in charge. I just have trouble with surprises, I am not a spontaneous person. I do not like to find where I am going, I like to KNOW. (God bless http//www.google.com/maps) I don't like to change my route for going to work. I don't like to make plans at the last minute. It is just hard for me. It is not something I dislike about myself, it is something I have accepted, and I try to work with it, plan for things I can to keep myself from feeling nervous. (Because what fun is being nervous?) There are all types of people in the world, and this is me.

But then there are the things I CAN'T control. I can't control when my house sells, or if the houses I like will still be for sale when my house DOES sell. I can't control the timing. I can't control the chilly summer that is making my tomatoes ripen oh-so-late. And this is what I have to learn to deal with. I have to learn to let go, to let the Universe take care of me, to let things play out as they will. After all, I may not know what is best for me--I may look back and realize how things worked out better. It has happened before. So... I am trying.

Sometimes I think about when I was a kid and all adults seemed to know what was going on. They seemed so grown-up. They seemed DONE, like they knew the answers, knew what was best, always what was right.

I wonder if my children look at me like that. It is laughable. I am still trying to figure it all out. I am still finding my faith, still wondering how the world works, wondering what I will be like when I "grow up"... certainly some things I have figured out, but so many I have not. And then things happen sometimes to turn what I have already figured out on its ear. I am guessing it was the same for the adults in my life. Maybe they were still waiting to grow up like I feel I am--but hiding it well!

So, when I see my "for sale" sign, I try to shrug. No blinking light on the machine from the realtor? I think, "maybe tomorrow." But sometimes I feel the sinking feeling, I get frustrated and sad. I remind myself, "it can change in a blink." I try to focus on the things in my life that are oh-so-very-right. Universe, I am trying to learn what you are teaching me to make me better!

I am evolving. And I may never stop.

UPDATE on ME

Well, I know I am not updating regularly these days... I guess I don't have too much to report. Today I thought I'd report my unexciting events...

After a blistering hot week of 90s (I know my brother in San Antonio and my friend in New Orleans will scoff at the description--but HEY, I'm built for subzero weather. Nope, I don't LIKE it...) where I was SO HAPPY it was finally summer--we have had a week of 60s. BOO. It is supposed to warm up, but sadly, we are near a Great Lake, and that will keep ME in the low 70s, still. Doesn't feel like summer--and disappointing when Fall will be here before we know it.

I have not been doing much jewelry. I took a break from crocheting after overdoing it (my children put it many orders for things--my son is so delighted with the free Pokemon crochet patterns website I found!), but have gotten back to it a bit. And tonight I want to hurry up and make some red, white and blue earrings for tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be the *big* parade with my in-laws, then we go there for lunch. There will be lots of kids, and they will all get to sleep over by Grandma and Grandpa. They will come to the school across the street for fireworks, as it doesn't get crowded and we can see them from two neighboring cities. I will make popcorn and lemonade. I MIGHT even share with the kids. ;-)

NOTHING DOING on the house-for-sale stuff. Not even a showing in two weeks. Our realtor assures us it is across the board, as interest rates have risen. I am getting concerned, however, because we are running out of time to get this going in order for the kids to start in a new school this Fall. Do we change them during the year, or take the house off of the market?? What can my little babies handle?

After waiting to move for 10 years, I did not realize it would still be difficult to move after reaching the point of getting the house on the market. I truly know that in the scheme of things, it is a small problem. I really believe that, and think that perhaps there is a reason or an issue that I will look back and understand why it has been such a challenge. But I have to be honest to say that I am disappointed beyond words. And that is all I will say on that subject (for now anyway)--since it is beyond words!

I spent a couple of hours this evening putting MANY of my resin items in my etsy shop on clearance. I hoped it would get them to move a little more. And I have listed international shipping. Which means I have to hike myself over to the post office instead of printing labels off of PayPal, but I think I can manage--ha ha!!

I am enjoying the kids this summer. They are fighting a lot (either best buddies or fighting, argh!), but I am trying to keep them busy. They are not signed up for anything (since I thought we'd be moving this summer!), but we do a weekly trip to the library, I try to arrange a weekly playdate, we do crafts one day... you get the idea. It is nice to have a relaxed summer.

And really... that IS it. I hope you are all having a lovely summer and that your weekend (for those in the US celebrating the 4th, especially!!) is full of fun, family and friends!

Mother Nature Weighs In

I know I've been gone a really long time!

But guess what! We have a "for sale" sign in our yard! We did it! We've had a couple of showings, but no one is interested, yet. I am trying to be patient, as we've only been listed for two weeks... but I am excited to get out of limbo!!!

With that said, I'll move on to my next story......

My buddy, Tronsgirl, and I had a two-day craft fair this past weekend. It was our first outdoor craft fair, and she found us a canopy, extra tables, etc. Also, it was a juried show, so we felt pretty good about getting in...

Next scene... We are set up. Hello! We are set up. Anyone out there????? There were only about 60 vendors (taking away a little of the thrill of being accepted). It was at the entry of a very popular festival--and everyone seemed pretty excited to get into the festival. They didn't really have time to look at crafts. It was very slow--the only thing that made us feel slightly better is that it was slow for EVERYONE. Not that we don't wish everyone else success--just that we knew not to take it personally. Or tried not to.

By 4:00 pm (after we had been sitting there for six hours) we had each made a whopping $22 (at least it was exactly equal so we didn't glare at each other in envy in our boredom and disappointment). The sky was looking a little cloudy. Our husbands, who had spent the day with the kids in the festival part of the event came back for a rest. Tronsgirl and I went out for a little walk to stretch our atrophied muscles. There were a couple of sprinkles, so we went back to our little canopy. Then, so suddenly, the sky broke open! It was like buckets of rain were being tossed on us, the sideways-super-windy-rain! Did I mention it was so so so cold? We were shocked! Tronsgirl and I were laughing in hysterics while our husbands tried to get the sides of the canopy down (it was too windy to do so, by the way)--so we just tried to hold the flaps that were already down, well, down. All of our jewelry flew off the tables. I remember the sight of my husband chasing my (0f course ruined) business cards out the back of our canopy. Tronsgirl's husband snapped me out of my shock--"hold down your stuff!!" I quickly threw the table cloth over what remained on the table, to keep it down (the tablecloth was very heavy with water at this point--certainly could keep everything down!).

My son, at a drier spot where we herded the three children, asked, "Is this a monsoon?" I don't know, I think monsoons are warmer.

The wind died down a bit and the flaps were finally able to come down. We stood there as the rain fell, in shock. Then, slowly, the sun came out.

All in all, it probably lasted less than 10 minutes. We were SOAKED through. Our shoes squished. We were shivering. My jeans felt like they weighed 50 lbs. Dejectedly, we started packing up into soggy boxes, with no rhyme or reason. Everything was tangled and soaking. Earrings all over the grass. I was pouring water out of my pendant displays. Oh my.

When we unzipped the sides of our tent, everyone looked shocked. Slowly packing up. There was a small "flood" in front of the booths across from us. They looked like they didn't know where to go, on their squishy little islands of wet crafts they had worked hours and hours upon. The poor woman next to us lost thousands of dollars worth of her merchandise. For her, it was a business, not a hobby.

We went back to Tronsgirl's house, which was near--got into THEIR clothes, put our clothes in the dryer and had a cocktail.

Obviously we could not participate in the fair the next day, so we decided to come back, hit the rides-part of the fest and have a cook out. Lemonade from lemons?? We stopped at the craft fair to check on it, and only about half of the crafters returned.

Thankfully all of my jewelry is OK!! BUT sadly, many of my displays are ruined--hurt to have paid for that when we didn't even recoup our entry fee! And of course I'll have to order more business cards. Lots of time and money spent on our set-ups, wasted and ruined. Tronsgirl did lose some merchandise, which is heartbreaking, indeed.

So... no craft fairs for a while, we have decided. And personally--I don't think I will ever do an outdoor one again. Now I will think about selling this house and getting a new one, summer vacation with my kids (only three weeks away!). I have things to list on etsy, so I will probably slowly add more to the shop. I have suspended my ArtFire shop.

But for now, I am taking a step back. Not defeated, but definitely soggy. I need some time to wring out.

Home Sweet Home

Well, we've been trying to get our house ready to put up for sale! It is an exciting time for me, as I planned to live in this "starter" home for about three years before moving on. Well, nearly fourteen years later, here we are...

I must admit, after 14 years in one house, inhabited by a major pack rat (me) who has raised little pack rats (also me)--getting things cleared out is a major challenge. ESPECIALLY when you are a pack rat, and it is hard to get rid of stuff. And your little pack rats are biting at your heels, not wanting you to get rid of any of THEIR stuff, either.

We are also making improvements that we would have enjoyed living with (like carpeting the room with the old tiles--previously mentioned in this blog--it looks so good now... I would have enjoyed that room looking like that!! And a future date of getting the bathtub reglazed!)... but that is also a challege for those of us that are home-improvement-challenged. And a bit financially strapped as well.

Despite those challenges (a word I keep using, but it fits!!)--it feels like a very good time, not an easy time, but like dreams coming together.

Funny, too--how those dreams have changed over the past decade-plus-four. I don't yearn for a gorgeous, large, new home anymore. With a giant yard in a fancy suburb. We are looking for a very modestly sized ranch (and I mean modest!) in a nice little neighborhood. A yard big enough for a swing set and a place to plant tomatoes. My husband wants unpainted molding (his pet peeve in this house!). I want to be near to school, and to have a dinette space. A driveway instead of an alley. A rec room in the basement--or room for one. Trees. Or tree. A picture window. Most importantly--and maybe this is where I've become older and wiser--my little family cozied up with me. A place to call home, where I plan to stay. A place where my kids will grow up and bring their spouses back for dinner. A place where I will have my grandkids open their Christmas presents. I guess the difference this time, this many years later, is what I am looking for. Last time, at the young age of 24 I was looking for a house. This time I am looking for a home.